Passion Cardiff

Does your relationship feel like you’re just housemates?

Navigating the waters of a long-term relationship often means facing the inevitable “housemate phase”. 

Mum of four Shelly from Cardiff writes for us all about her and her hubby overcome this often in their relationship.

That’s when my husband and I kick-start certain little rituals to rekindle the spark that once made us feel like love-struck teenagers.

Open communication forms the bedrock of these rituals. Each night, we designate a time to put away our devices and spend quality time together. These quiet moments of connection, with our attention focused solely on one another, are sacrosanct.

A little bit of escapism also goes a long way. Date nights are an absolute must for us. They offer a much-needed break from our routine home life and responsibilities as parents, allowing us to engage with each other as not just mum and dad, but as individuals too.

While we’re on the subject of youth, we’ve found it’s incredibly important to keep that playful spark alive. We’ve started making more of an effort to act like young lovers again, reminding ourselves of the passion we had in the early stages of our relationship.

A coordinated bedtime is another one of our strategies. It brings us in sync physically, and we’ve found it contributes significantly to feeling emotionally close as well.

Even the mundane tasks of everyday life like household chores are opportunities to grow closer. By doing them together, we turn our household jobs into shared experiences – a testament to our partnership.

Among these regular routines, we also make sure to sit down and ask ourselves the hard questions. Questions like, “Why are we heading back into the housemate phase?”, “How can we foster a better connection?”, “What can we do differently as a couple to come back together?”, and “What do you need from me?” These are difficult, but crucial conversations that help us to understand each other better, and ultimately, strengthen our bond.

In our quest to rediscover our connection, we start paying attention to the “little” things again. This includes resuming the practice of kissing each other good morning and goodnight every day.

Finally, we always remember that the ‘housemate phase’ is just that – a phase. It’s another chapter in our shared life journey, and we acknowledge it as such. It’s a phase to work through, to learn from, and most importantly, to overcome, together.

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